Coming unstuck
by OtherwiseD
Summary: Lisbon after season 4 comes to a decision and takes charge of what she wants: Jane.
1. Chapter 1

_It seems I am a closet romantic and the breaks at the end of seasons are more than I can stand. Castle and The Mentalist have left me wishing I could time-travel or hibernate across this three month gap._

_I resisted writing something Mentalisty because the chemistry of the show has never burned as brightly as it does in Castle. Then I started re-watching Season 4 and I saw what I missed before. Lisbon is hurting and that comes from something real._

_One thing lead to another. I read some other fanfics (some good stuff, btw) and caught the meme. _

_So, here's a thing: I wanted to speak from inside Lisbon – to have the camera on her shoulder. I wanted to turn the tables of most of the fanfic I've read – to make her the one who takes control._

_Anyway, here it goes. I am tempted to write it all before posting because I am a little manic and might just stop totally. On the other hand, perhaps your reviews will help this go places I haven't felt. So I'll take a chance and post early._

_Question: Does one have to disclaim the characters and story? It seems obvious that it's not mine, not profitable, etc._

**Coming unstuck**

The last six months had been confusing for Teresa. The last six days, darkly confounding. Jane had abandoned them; then suddenly returned. Chaos, death and betrayal.

Then he had shot her with more than a pantomime bullet.

It dawned on her that she might be stuck. Her career has been a roller-coaster. Three bosses, well four. A suspension of sorts. Was she in control of anything that happened to her? Was she simply pretending to be a good cop, an excellent agent? Or, was she blowing in the winds of fate?  
What was she waiting for? How long could this continue?  
"What do I want?" She asked aloud, cloistered in her office.

As if in answer, Director Bertram knocked and intruded.  
"We need to talk." He said. Teresa nodded and waved him to sit.  
"Sir, I—"  
But what could she say? Wainwright, her last boss, was dead. Her team had, again, failed to stop the infamous serial-killer. Jane's recent frenzied stunt had put them all off-balance and now the FBI was involved.  
She started and stopped a few times, feeling abstract and small.

The Director let her stew. Was he friend or foe? She knew he wanted her gone, had vanished her once before. She also knew that Jane had faced him down. None of this was filling the 'friend' column.  
Foe, then. With an effort she stilled her hands and looked at him.

He made a winced, pained face. (The one he reserves for me.)  
"Agent Lisbon, of all your spectacular achievements of late, this one has been a personal best," he leaned forward slightly, "And by that, I mean the opposite."  
She remained calm. After his short visit to her in hospital he had shown his true colours.  
He leaned back again, a sigh oozing out. "What am I going to do with you?"  
Before she could volunteer a few lurid suggestions, he continued, "It seems I have two choices."  
He raised his fingers. "One, fire you and bask in the sight of your back." That made her wince. One finger closed, "Two, promote you." He scowled.  
Teresa blinked. Where had that come from? "Sir?"  
"The FBI are involved now. This whole Red John thing has—" He flicked his hand.  
"Suffice it to say, you have nine lives and they want you here." He shoved the chair backwards and stood.  
"Congratulations CBI Chief Lisbon." There was no pleasure in his eyes and he did not extend his hand. "Try to out-last your predecessors."  
She immediately queried, "And Jane, my team?"  
He didn't bother turning as he left, "Just as charmed."

An hour later she was still in her office. The promotion didn't fit her state of mind. She was still asking the same question. "What do I want?"  
It was tough because so many roads forked at that point. There were alternative universes that she could forge and it was taking a long time to précis them.

Teresa slumped on her (Jane's) couch and played scenarios in her mind. She was looking for something and the outside world would have to wait until she found it. Her hand kept massaging the imaginary bullet wound in her chest. Perhaps she didn't notice.

..xx..

"What's keeping the boss?" Rigsby asked, not for the first time. Cho shrugged. Grace blinked her eyes from her screen and back. No one replied.  
He pressed-on, "The Director left over an hour ago. If —"  
Cho grunted, "If we were fired we'd be gone."  
"Yeah, just wait for her." Grace said, not looking up.  
Rigsby turned to look down on Jane's couch. "What do you think?"  
Jane only wiggled his fingers.  
"Great." Said Rigsby.

Teresa could hear them; almost picture them. She knew she should go out there and set them at ease. She knew the invisible presence of Lorelei in the holding cell was a weight that must be crushing Jane right now.

It was crushing her too — so she made her decision.

It was not like her to dwell on failure and defeat. She chose to see this as an opportunity — to change, to become unstuck. With that thought her smile returned. She knew what she was going to do — well, what she was going to try.


	2. Chapter 2

_I had this written already, so I may post in haste._

_Having some trouble with the tenses and keeping the story strictly from Lisbon's pov. Hey I don't write more than once a year! (And not to mention the mysteries of quotes and commas and fullstops when people are speaking/thinking...)_

They all turned to watch her as she stepped-out. Her smile released the pressure and her three agents all returned it. Grace visibly relaxed. Even Cho turned one shade less inscrutable, was that a fleeting smile from her stoic friend?

Jane swung into a sitting position, his own smile was like a sunrise.  
"Lisbon! Welcome back from your exile. When can we start?"  
"All business aren't you Jane?" She shot at him.  
"Well, you know me Lisbon." He dipped his head and darted to his feet, clapping his hands once.  
Do I? She thought, smiling more than she wanted to. With a shake, she brought her attention back to the others.

"For a start you can all relax. We are not fired, and we are still on the Red John case."  
Jane put his hands in his pockets and swung back and forth like a child.  
"What else Lisbon? You look .. determined."  
She shifted her hips and folded her arms. "I am Jane. You are looking at your new Chief."  
"Wha?—" Rigsby and Grace gasped. Cho nodded abruptly, a man of few words.  
"That's great Teresa!" Jane, jumped over to hug her.  
The others all stood and Grace started clapping, "Wow boss. This is big."  
Teresa was wrestling Jane, pulling one arm off as another found new purchase.  
"Get off you!" She giggled.  
He bowed and stepped back. "I always knew you had it in you."  
"Well thank you Jane. Thanks all of you." She looked at each of them. "But this does leave a hole in our team."  
As she said it, they realized. Who would replace her as their immediate boss? She moved some papers from Cho's desk and perched on the edge.  
"I haven't decided yet. One thing is certain, it won't be Jane."  
"Ow, ah!" He mocked. She rolled her eyes.  
"Look, it's been crazy. I won't keep you in suspense. Tomorrow, okay?" She spoke to them all, not looking away from Jane.

He caught her aside after that. "You do know we have a lead sitting in our cells?"  
"I am not likely to forget that Jane."  
Her face must have conveyed ire because he glanced down, leaving her eyes.  
"There are two FBI agents protecting her. What more can we do right now?" She waited for him.  
"Break her." He replied.

His words forked like her universe. I am not going to feel sorry for myself, she thought. I am not broken. This thing is really quite simple.  
All those lonely nights and long weekends stretched out like reflections between mirrors. She used to burn through them, getting to work early, staying late. Work was all and she was her work. I'm a cop, damn-it! It's what I do. But not anymore. Not all the way.  
She looked at Jane, for once just leaving her eyes on his face. She could see his frustration. It was the same as hers. Let's finish this. Let's close the book. Ah, but what was Jane after that?

What was in his mind? What was in his heart? Was there a heart at all?

It didn't matter. She was going to do what _she_ wanted and the cards would fall.

"You have done quite enough breaking for one week." She finally said, still looking directly at him. He flinched. "You've done enough for the last year."  
"Lisbon — I'm sorry." He even sounded it.  
"Forget it Jane. Until tomorrow. Go home." She walked away, leaving him standing in surprise, a statue.

..xx..

It was a long night. Another one. She got home late and tired, yet sleep eluded. Her traitor pillow was hard and unfriendly. She turned from side to side.  
"I'm never gonna sleep." She said to the ceiling.  
No. No more of this. She moved into a comfortable position and forced her hands to her sides. She took deep breaths and counted them, a trick she'd heard Jane explain. There would be fewer nights like this — alone — in her future. It was her abiding thought as she winked out.

The alarm roused her. She felt rested and a little triumphant about her victory over the sulks. She wondered where Jane was, what he was feeling. She pictured him prowling his small room atop the CBI, waiting to get his fingers into Lorelei's brain.  
This made her sad, for a moment, but she resolved it. It didn't matter what Jane wanted anymore. It was about herself for once.

Today was the start of it. Teresa got ready and was the first into the office.

..xx..

"Lisbon." He caught her just as she rounded her desk.  
"Jane." She gave him a small grin.  
He pounced repeatedly, heels to toes. Every motion calling her to action.  
"Patience Jane, soon."  
He looked at her quizzically. Was she outflanking this superbly complex man, just a little bit? It's bloody well time, she thought.  
She lifted her cup, "Go. Fill." It waved in the air before Jane took it and wafted out.  
She avoided him for another hour until the team arrived.

"Okay, here's the talk." her voice roused them from hibernation. She waved them closer and they gathered.  
"Cho, you're it." She pointed at him. "Grace, I'm sorry but he has seniority."  
Grace exhaled, "I'm glad of it boss." Teresa looked at her, a little surprised.  
"Ahem." The cough came from Rigsby.  
"You are a new dad," her hands at her hips, "Next time."  
"You will be the Chief forever," Jane spoke up. "I will see to it."  
Teresa felt proud and a little warm at his words. She new what he meant. Life seemed short and brutal at the top of the tree and Red John was still out there, holding the axe.  
"I intend to. And I am relying on you all to keep me there. The way I see it is: we can live in fear or we can do our job. We have to be better than all the others," Bosco's face floated into her memory, "and we have to be better than Red John."  
There was a general sound of agreement.  
"Can we start?" Jane.  
"In a moment. You and I have a conversation pending. The rest of you, get jumping. Help Cho. You know what to do."  
She spun around and Jane quickly followed.

"Right, you heard the Chief." Cho flowed into his new role as if he had always been there. "Rigsby, I want to know what that limo has to say. Van Pelt, get onto the morgue and find what Wainright's body can tell us."  
He eyed them. There was a moment of stasis. "Go." And they got.


	3. Chapter 3

_Charging ahead. Thanks for the reveiws so far._

_I do not intend to write a cop story, so the Red John stuff is all dressing. This is about two characters against their background._

_BTW -How does one handle "travelling"? I mean the inevitable "she stood up and walked across the blah and sat on the blah"? You know the stuff bodies do in space and tv makes so effortless? _

_I try to cut it as I go. It seems better to imply than travel. I hope I got it partly right. Oh, heads, hands, arms and legs travel too. It's a pain._

**The cards on the table chapter.**

"We are wasting time." Jane was grumbling. "I didn't go through all that to miss this chance."  
Teresa watched him across her desk. This complicated simple man that had stolen her. This unpredictable constant who had been at her side for eight years. He of the origami frogs and ponies. He of betrayal and pain. She was not going to let him play his game anymore.

Keeping the momentum of surprise, she came around to sit on the edge, near and above him. He blinked and looked up.  
"I will release the hounds — well, _the_ hound — but there's something you have to know first."  
He leaped to his feet. "I don't know what's come over you Lisbon, but I like it." He motioned to the couch, "You don't mind if I sit over there? It's a little less mouse-cage-owl."  
She smirked, relenting. He settled down, perching his fingers together.  
"You like being the mouse?" She asked him.  
"Not at all. And yet, I do. News to me."  
"Well, get used to it. I've made a decision Jane."  
He cocked his head to the side, "What have you decided Lisbon?"  
"Call me Teresa." She said, not moving a muscle.

There was a long stretch of silence that made her wonder if it was still yesterday; if she was still running the scenes in her imagination.

Jane broke the spell, "Teresa," he was grinning like a fool, "You can call me Patrick. Now isn't this quaint?"  
She grinned. He lit up. What do I look like to him, she wondered?  
"I like Jane." Was all she said, but she looked down for a moment.  
"Me too," he quipped.  
He leaned back, "What's this about? The weight of office got you down?"  
"Nothing of the kind." She sat next to him. "I was expecting to be out of a job. Bertram was too. Seems your agent Darcy had other plans."  
"Ah." He nodded — dramatically, as usual.  
She continued, "So, I get to stay. You get to stay. It all _stays_ the same, only it can't."

He stopped nodding.

"I don't care anymore Jane." She said into the space.  
He flicked his eyes to hers, his pupils question marks.  
"I am not going to be stuck anymore."  
This was it. Time to dispel years of ambiguity. Cards on table time.  
"Stuck?" He prompted.  
"Yes, the same-old same-old. Good old Teresa. Switch her on, switch her off."  
Her words worked. He lost his smile and shook his head. She could see he was uncomfortable.  
"Shh." She held a warning finger up, "_I'm_ not done." He closed his mouth. She knew he'd heard the contraction.  
"I'm a person Jane. I'm real. I know you have a mission of vengeance and I know _everything_ that entails." She drew-out the 'everything' to make it clear  
She leaned closer to him, saying it slowly, "And. I. Don't. Care."  
She put her hand out to take his. He was gaping now, seemingly confused.  
"I am taking what _I_ want _now_." Her hands took his, enclosing.  
"Teresa—"  
She glared, he stopped.  
"You come, you go. You breeze in and out. You shoot me and chop my head off."  
"—that's not quite—"  
"Hush."  
"You say you love me," He scrunched his eyes for a beat. "—then you deny it. You want your cake and your toast, your icing and butter too."  
She pushed his hand against his leg, letting it go.  
"You cut me to the heart and then you throw me away." His head hung now.  
"You can't treat a person like that Jane." She spoke quietly, touched his hand with her fingers. "You just can't and I won't let you do it anymore."

She stood up to get some space. He lifted his face.  
"You want me to go Teresa?" He asked, pain lacing his voice.  
"That's the question, isn't it Jane?" She drew-out the pause.  
"You do!" He gasped.  
She bored her stare into his eyes. "No. I want you to stay."  
His eyes widened.  
"I want you to stay _all_ the way. I want you to wake up and see me."  
Before he could ruin it with some damn-fool remark, she was at the door.  
"I want you to decide." She took the handle.  
"Because _I_ have decided Jane. If you stay it's because I'm here and you want _me_."  
"— I —" She shook her head to silence him.  
"No doubts, no bull. I want _you_ and you better get your shit together." She closed the door, leaving him alone.

..xx..

"Boss." Cho was hailing her. "We have a lead on—" the business of being a cop consumed her and the day took its own path. She didn't see Jane leave her office, but when she returned a few hours later he was not within.  
Oh I hope that worked, she thought, feeling a moment of terror.

"Agent Lisbon?" It was Darcy, "I'm glad I caught you." The FBI agent looked tired.  
"Me too, it's been quite a day. What can I do for you?" Teresa asked.  
"Our suspect has been — difficult. Obstinate." The agent scowled. "Have you seen Jane? We can really use his help."  
Teresa was surprised. "You mean he hasn't been in to interrogate Lorelei?"  
Darcy shook her head, "Not hide nor hair of him all day."  
Well — that was unusual. What if I? But she refused to be stuck any more.  
"I'll find him Agent Darcy." She said.

"Anyone seen Jane?" Teresa asked Rigsby and Grace at their stations.  
"No Boss," Grace replied.  
Rigsby looked skittish. She tapped her foot. "Ah, I think I saw him head out a few hours ago. I thought he had a job or something." He quickly spilled .  
"He's gone out?" She felt frustrated.  
What was he thinking? Had she pushed too hard? Perhaps he didn't feel the way she did? Maybe her gamble, the fork chosen, was not going to pay off? Well no matter. It was going to be what it was.  
Collecting her nerve, she changed the subject. She caught up on the latest, issued some orders and went to find him.

..xx..

Later — much later — she was home. She had not found him. Her calls to his cell had all gone to voice mail. Well, if he wanted to drop out then who was she to stop him? It's not like he had never left before.  
What's plan B, Teresa? She took to her couch. Her empty apartment accused her. She could feel the long night laughing. Would this endless lonely bullshit never end?  
Hell no. If Jane was not the man she thought he was then she would move on. Plan B was to get out into the world, that murky thing beyond the pale of cops and robbers and serial killers.  
It was late, but she needed distracting. She flipped her cell open, hesitated and then called an old friend.  
"Walter?" He had answered on the first ring.

..xx..

"Always nice to see you Teresa," the charming millionaire said as he opened his door.  
She smiled at him, feeling purpose but pointless. Her mixed signals must have been glaring because he shifted gears and became sombre.  
"You _are_ looking blue," he said. They wandered through his palace, finding the path to the lounge where he mixed her a drink.  
"Sit, sit. Talk."  
She nearly did. "Nothing to say Walter."  
"I know _that_ nothing," he sympathised, handing her drink over. "I think I know what's eating you," he continued.  
"Do tell."  
"As much as I like to think I am the centre of the Lisbon world, I know when I am beaten." He held up his glass, clinked it against hers.  
She sipped rather than trying to speak.  
"He's a right bastard, you know? Leaving you for so long."  
"What have you heard?"  
"This and that. I know he's back."  
She swigged the rest of the drink, held the glass up. Walter took it and went about a refill.  
"Yeah, he's back. Our old Boss is dead. I'm the new Boss."  
"Wow." He said, quickly doubling the drink.  
"You can say that again," she replied, warning him not to.  
He smiled to show he got it, handing her the second drink.  
"You may as well tell me about it."


	4. Chapter 4

_Finding it very hard to keep Jane in character; he rarely speaks to anyone off-work. I also need to retain Lisbon's brashness and strength — it's too easy to flip into a Jane-led mode._

_Anyway, I can't keep editing this one or I will go crazy. Time to post._

_Thanks for the encouragement re my take on Lisbon. I hope I can keep that mood._

**The ice-cream chapter**

The next day was a reset. She was in early, but her night had not been the victory over fate that she craved. This emotional delay had eroded some of her confidence.

Cho came in, greeting her with a nod. She smiled, tapped her watch, "Eight thirty," pointed at the conference table.  
She had been up to look for Jane, but his cave was empty. One call was all she spared to his cell, with similar results. Grace was next and Teresa caught her eye; waved her over.

"Morning." Teresa put all her usual verve into the greeting, no point spreading her melancholy. "It'll damn well be temporary." She muttered, aloud.  
Grace looked puzzled, drawing her head back a bit, "Scuze me?"  
"Sorry, not you Grace — Busy," she waved her hand in a circle.  
"Right." Said Grace.  
"Have you seen—"  
"Jane?"  
Am I that predictable? "Yes," she finished.  
"Sorry. He's been gone since yesterday morning." Grace softened, "What did you say to him Boss?"  
Teresa felt some of her old iron return. "None of your bee's Van Pelt. Meeting at eight thirty. Be there."

After Grace melted out, she collapsed in her chair. Plan A was to catch Jane despite the monster that dogged them, catch the threads of her tapestry before they all fell away.  
Plan B was to visit Walter again. There was no way she was going to spend another morbid night at her place.  
Her phone burst into life, "Go."  
"Teresa." Jane.  
"It's about time!" She put more than a dollop of scorn into it.  
"You not interested in this case anymore Jane?"  
"On the contrary, my fiery Agent."  
"Well, don't let me slow you down."  
"I'll be in a little later. Just wanted to hear your voice. I'm still here."  
That was unexpected. Could he have just a spark of humanity in him?  
"You better not be jerking me around."  
"Perish the thought. Tra-la," and he was gone. Damn him; but she smiled.

'Later' turned out to be around lunch. Teresa tried to not feel the seconds pass. She tried not to keep looking around at every sound. The energy this took was making her angry.  
Time was spent by her and Cho, in turn, uselessly interviewing Lorelei. The crazy woman remained silent, but for one request: to speak to Jane.  
Where the hell was he? She hoped he had done some thinking of his own.

"Miss me?" — So, he'd caught her by surprise after all.  
"As a matter of fact, no." Yes. She thought.  
He looked hurt for a moment. "Ice cream?"

Before she knew it, they were on the roof, sharing a Sundae. Always ice cream, that's what he'd said.  
"You know how I feel about this?" he said, indicating with his spoon.  
She smiled and took a scoop, still cooling-down from earlier.  
"It's always there while the ugly world turns. Hmm smooth."  
She laughed despite herself.  
"You're like ice-cream," he carried on, the spoon still in his mouth.  
"Do tell." She had to hear this.  
"You're always here and," he went for another scoop, "not ugly." He grinned.  
"Huh!" She snorted.  
He smiled that nuclear Jane smile. "See? It's not so bad? I like ice cream. They should call this one the Lisbon Sundae."  
"What are you saying?" She asked him directly. Tick tick, Jane.  
He licked his spoon and placed it on the table, completely unaffected by her testy mood. His hand crept around the glass and stole it away from her.  
"Hey!" She complained. Was something different about his hands?  
"Alright, here, you finish it." He pushed it back with a cheeky grin.  
"So, any thoughts on the case?" She asked him, taking the Sundae in greedy fingers.  
"Meh." He sat back.  
"Nothing at all? This is a wonder."  
"The wonder is that I almost don't care." He folded one leg across his knee, "I left yesterday to go be angry. Turns out I wasn't in the mood."  
"Took you long enough."  
"I had to try," he laughed, "Being angry and intense is my thing."  
What was the difference? She felt like a kid trying to spot the changes between two pictures in a puzzle book.  
Jane waved his hands about and folded his arms. His fingers kept tapping and moving about. She took another scoop.  
"So you're not angry and you don't care about that psycho ex-lover of yours?"  
"Nope and nope." He rubbed his lip with a long finger.  
Teresa sat back to look at him. "What's going on Jane?"  
"Nothing. Perhaps." He winked at her. "Finish your Lisbon."  
She barked a laugh. He could be so disarming.  
"Fine." She grabbed the glass and shoved her spoon in. There was an odd clunk, a solid something at the bottom. Teresa fished around.  
"I also made a decision, you know." He was saying.  
"Uh-huh?" She said absently, poking the spoon about. She caught the thing and dragged it up the side of the glass.  
"Yes. Time to let-go."  
"What is? Is this?" She held a ring in her fingers and stared at him.  
"Better lick your fingers, they're dirty." He was rubbing his own — bare of his wedding ring.  
"Wow."  
"I agree. They do make the best Lisbons here."  
He stood, held her gaze for a moment and then whisked off.

Teresa could not leave the table. In her hands she held — well — the past, the future. It was so small and stupid. A little gold ring. She flipped it over and over. Heads he's saying yes. Tails? He's free to — what? Leave?

"Boss?" She palmed it and looked up at Rigsby.  
"Uh. Yes?"  
"You might want to be downstairs in interrogation. Jane has the bird singing."  
"What?" She jumped up, "Why am I always the last to know!"  
She dashed after Rigsby, taking the stairs three at a time.

Cho and Grace were behind the glass. On the other side Jane faced the suspect.  
"What have I missed?" She asked.  
"Weirdness." Replied Cho, "Listen."

The strange scene went on for over forty minutes. Jane coaxed a story out, but not everything they heard made sense.  
"This is so frustrating." Grace said. Darcy nodded to agree.  
"More and more layers," said Cho, "is this gonna help us?"  
Finally Jane left the room.  
"Well, conference room everyone." Said Teresa.


	5. Chapter 5

_Well, I got here. Have to say I'm not sure where to go next. I can't 'finish' it because it's all still going on, but I have to close it somehow. A few more chapters methinks._

_Suggestions welcome._

_Thanks for the reviews. Glad I am not alone in feeling like an imperfect human camera that loses track of space and situation. I'd like to start a page with "Look, people move about. Okay? Just fill-in the pacing and shifting and leaning and waving!" And then proceed never to use any verbs at all!_

**The walk in the night chapter**

Plan B was on hold. Teresa was home, alone, on her old couch. The day had been bewildering, poignant, breathtaking and hopeless. They had thrashed the thing out between them for hours. It was certain that there were many new leads. It was also certain that Lorelei was withholding.

She groaned and pulled Jane's ring from her pocket. It had been there all day, a symbol of something real, a small promise. They had not spoken again, but she had looked at his hands — too often; the others had started noticing.  
After she called a halt and they broke-up, she had hoped to corner him, but he'd dissolved away. How did he do that?

Her cell rang.  
"Teresa?" His voice trickled electricity into her.  
"Where the heck did you go to? I swear you're some kind of spirit."  
"Or a ninja."  
"Or that," she laughed.  
"What are you doing?" He asked her. Well, that was also new. It was always about work, when did he ever wonder what she was doing?  
"Wouldn't you like to know?" She teased.  
"On your couch, in the dark, I imagine."  
"As a matter of fact, Mr. Psychic, I am proceeding with Plan B." She was slightly shocked to hear herself say this, but it just felt like a good idea.  
"Oh-ho, Plan B? You have plans! Alternate plans? Reveal all."  
"If you insist. I am going to visit Walter tonight." So there.  
"I see. Well, you had better get a move on. It's very late."  
"Fine." She said coldly.  
He laughed. "You won't reach New York unless you leave right now."  
"Huh?"  
"I'm afraid Walter had to be at some celebrity thing." This was news. Walter had promised her he would be around.  
"Rubbish," she said, "I saw him last night and we have plans."  
"B plans?"  
"The very same."  
"Okay. You need a lift to the airport?"  
"Jane, I am not going to New York because Walter is not in New York."  
"Afraid he is, my dear."  
"What did you do Jane?"  
"Oh, a little recon. A little subterfuge. I also have a plan B."  
"You better spill Jane or so help me!"  
"Okay, Teresa. Don't burst. Open your door."

What?

..xx..

He was still Jane, detached, aloof, but he shyly took her hand and lead her into a walk. She followed him, going nowhere; saying nothing, holding her nerve and this strange spell.  
"Would you really have tried it with Mashburn?" He asked in that way of his; talking to a crowd rather than to her.  
"It's not crazy and he's nice."  
Their awkward conversation began to take a rhythm. A few steps, the odd glance, silence and then small words.  
"I understand loneliness," he said.  
"What do you understand about it?" He clenched her hand briefly.  
She hoped he would not repeat what she already knew. His family, the vengeance, the brink of madness, the isolation.  
"I went to the house yesterday," he replied.  
He said nothing for a few steps, and released her hand.  
"It wasn't easy to get that ring off." He held his fingers up. She kept quiet.  
"It feels lighter. I can't be certain that it's really gone."  
"I know Jane."  
"So many years. So much purpose."  
"We are stuck." She said.  
He took her hand again and they walked for a while.  
"We never really speak, Teresa. There's the mission and the distractions of work, but I don't know what you do — who you are — when you're not Agent Lisbon."  
She smiled. This was how to unstick. He was doing fine. She replied with her hand.  
"Are you —" He looked briefly at her, "ever just plain Teresa? A girl?"  
"I haven't been. My life is some pathetic parallel to yours."  
She stopped and turned to face him a little. He was so tall, she had to look up. It made her self-conscious.  
"It's not only your wife and daughter, there's Bosco and the other victims. I wanna catch that bastard, Jane."  
"I know you do."  
She scowled, "But I don't want to be stuck anymore."  
"You made that clear," he paused. "Thank you."  
"Did you take your ring off for me Jane?" They started their slow walk again.  
"_Because_ of you Teresa." She felt hope drain.  
"What does that mean?" She disliked how small her voice sounded.  
"I feel like a man who just woke up. I'm new to this."  
Feeling hope return she quickly said, "I'll help you. That, or kill you."  
He squeezed her hand a touch.  
"Tomorrow?"  
"Tomorrow."  
The night washed them for a while, before she returned his hand and parted. She liked that he remained to watch her until she reached her door.  
"Get some sleep Jane!" She called, as she went inside.

..xx..

Walter called her later, from New York.  
"Teresa, I am sorry. I think Jane pulled a fast one."  
"What happened?"  
"It's too embarrassing to detail, but I was certain that someone flashy wanted my company. It came from a trusted source and I—"  
"You blew me off, Walter." She could hear him gulp.  
She didn't let him continue, not wanting to blame him, "Don't sweat it, I'm a big girl. Besides—"  
"You talked to him?"  
"Yeah, I see a something like a light at the end of this tunnel."  
"Tell Jane my vengeance will be swift and biblical."  
"Don't joke about vengeance, but yeah, I will."  
They parted friendly.

Her apartment didn't seem as hostile. The accusing ache in her belly didn't manifest. Her pillow was soft and perfect. She slept instantly.

..xx..

Back at work again. For a change, the first person she saw was Jane, snoozing on his couch. She simply watched him for a while, the moment too fragile to waste.  
This feeling of acceptance, of decision, was new to her too. She had to let herself feel and that was strange. Can I do this? She was doubting herself when his breathing shifted, and she knew he was awake.  
"Don't stir on my account," she said. He opened his eyes and gave her a smile.  
"Morning Teresa," he stretched like a cat, "I hope you slept as well as I did."  
"Where did you sleep Jane?" She came over to the couch.  
"Right here." He brushed his shirt down and swung to sit up.  
"You gonna live here forever?"  
"You going to let me?"  
She blinked. "Don't bet on it."  
He smiled again. God, she loved that smile.  
"Tell me what's on your mind, right now," she asked him. He glanced down, broke contact.  
"You, at a loss for words?" She gently mocked. He looked up again.  
"Lots. There's lots on my mind. Right now?"  
"Yes."  
"Oddly happy with impending suspicion." He smirked.  
"That'll do." She laughed.


	6. Chapter 6

_And here it is, the final chapter. I have to say it's quite tiring this writing thing. I have great respect for those who do this all the time. _

_I was tempted to continue; go someplace with the whole RJ hunt but I just don't have a clue – I lack the skill to maintain a more complex story. I think I'll just suffer through until the new season._

_Thanks for reading and for the reviews._

It was in the middle of a meeting between the CBI and the FBI that Jane exploded. Agent Darcy had been fuming about Lorelei's story; an argument had broken out between her and Lisbon.  
"There's no way I'm gonna let you move her!" Teresa was yelling.  
"The FBI can protect her. We have experts in DC," Darcy retorted.  
Jane must have popped a paper bag or something because there was a loud bang and the entire room full of agents ducked, leaving him standing.  
"What the hell Jane?" Cho complained.  
"Your attention please," Jane said, inviting their ire. "You are all — in a box."  
Puzzled looks gathered as people straightened.  
Looking at her, Jane spoke, "As someone very close to me recently said, you are stuck."

He scanned the room. "You are stuck being cops and being cautious."  
"Oh please!" Said Agent Darcy. Jane's glance silenced her.  
"You're all so busy being _just_ that you forget what you are hunting. Need I remind you that a drone like that — woman," he tipped his head, "— walked in here and murdered a room full of seasoned agents?"  
Teresa knew he was right. Where was this going? She felt the start of fear.  
"Jane, what do you have in mind?" She asked to save time, knowing that he would lose patience and do something on his own.  
"We take the offensive, of course." he shrugged.  
"How?" Asked Darcy.  
"By being offensive." He snapped.  
"So you mean to be yourself?" Cho parried.  
"Precisely." Said Jane, smiling; obviously happy that someone got him.

Teresa was boiling. In a few moments of listening to Jane's insane plan, she had gone from mild skies to hurricane.  
He was performing for the room. "So, in short my friends, we whip a media storm that will enrage Red John to inevitable murder."  
"With Lorelei staked-out, as the lamb?" Teresa.  
"Just so."  
"I dunno Jane," she used her sceptical voice, rolling her eyes, "they tried that in Jurassic Park and it didn't go so well."  
"True dat." Came Cho, with Rigsby nodding rapidly casting his 'ya know?' looks around.  
"Jurassic what?" Asked Jane.  
"A word?" She beckoned him and went to her office.

She turned-on him as soon as they were inside.  
"Are you crazy?" She fumed. "Scratch that, you are. Stupid question. I thought it was time to let go?"  
He watched her with patient eyes. "Letting go doesn't mean giving up, Teresa."  
"I thought I was clear. If you stay—"  
"It's because I want to; here with you." He finished her words. "And I do. And Red John is still out there, hunting us."  
She had too much nervous energy. It bubbled-up and ran down her arms. She walked back and forth in the tiny office.  
"Teresa, sit down." She shot him a kill-stare, which he ignored as he swung onto the couch.  
She paced-on; he patted the seat with his hand.  
With a frustrated sigh, she relented.  
"There nothing straight about you Jane. We can't—" Her words caught, "I can't go on like this. In or out?"  
There was a moment of silence and the buzz from the outside intruded.  
"Hear that?" He asked. She had to nod.  
"That's our background. It's not going away."  
She knew what he meant. It would always be dangerous.  
"This is Red John," she spoke quietly, "it's not the usual game around here."  
"I know. What do you want Teresa?" He looked into her eyes. "My subservience or myself?"  
It was another fork. She never wanted to chase him away and there was no way to image Jane on a leash.  
She deflated, letting her worry and irritation flow away.  
"Just you, but—"  
"A better me?"  
"You plus, I guess." She kept his gaze.  
"I can do plus." He smiled.  
She nudged him with her shoulder. "This is so complicated."  
"Nah, it's quite simple."  
"How so?"  
"You said it yourself. I wish you'd explain."  
"Jane." She threatened.  
"You want a confession?" He asked.  
"That would be nice."  
"Very well." He slouched a bit more to put his arm around her shoulders.  
"I am very fond of your moue."  
"Come again?"  
"That one." He pointed at her face. "That disdainful pout of yours."  
Teresa had to laugh. Off the wall. That was Jane.  
"Not much of a confession." She said after a moment, enjoying his arm.  
"Meh. You have no idea what it does to me. When deprived I must have more."  
"You do?"  
"Oh yes. Why else do you think I enjoy driving you crazy?"  
She punched him, "You scum pig." She chided.  
"Scum peeg." He had to agree.

They were interrupted by the door opening. Jane did not move, but Lisbon jumped to her feet. She felt herself blush and tried to cover.  
"Boss, we have a situation—" Thank God it was Cho. He'd notice, but be discreet.  
"Right." She took a moment to switch gears. From moue to Chief, she thought. What a day.

..xx..

Bertram was outside speaking to a cluster of FBI types. Steeling herself, she approached them.  
He turned to address her, "Lisbon, I see you are digging your grave faster than I could have hoped."  
Teresa bit her tongue. She pictured him wrapped in bacon and staked-out for Red John. It made her feel better.  
"Thanks Sir, glad to be of service."  
He grimaced. "What's this I hear about baiting a serial killer?"  
Jane stepped-in. "Fire for fire." He said. Great, it always helps when he clarifies.  
"U-huh." Said Bertram, looking dubious. "Lisbon, is this the best you can do?" He ignored the consultant.  
"I'm sure Sir." She wasn't, but for damn-sure would support Jane.  
"There's a symmetry that we can use." Jane said, trying to but-in.  
Bertram paused. "What is he talking about?"  
Teresa looked at Jane. She could feel that magic that he wove, the impending storm-front of chaos and genius that was coming.  
"I don't have time to explain it all Sir, we need to make some plans."  
Bertram looked angry, but what the hell was new?  
"Don't make a move before you brief me Agent." And he left.

"Jane. What were you talking about?" She asked him. A small crown had gathered.  
"Symmetry?" Cho asked.  
Jane tensed. She watched him make some inner-decision and relax.  
"It's a key. Something he said to me."  
"Who said?" Teresa.  
"Red John recited a stanza from a poem. The Tyger."  
"William Blake." Cho supplied and Jane beamed.  
"There's a sick circle between us." Jane continued, "In a way I forged him that night. I gave him new purpose."  
"Jane, you can't go there." Teresa said, touching his arm. A few eyes widened to see that. It was intimate and suddenly-new like mushrooms after rain, or flowers in the dew.  
"I think Red John is telling me how to stop him." Jane said. "I _have_ to go there."  
She knew it was so. Around here, inevitable was routine.  
"You're coming with me." She said, taking his arm. She dared anyone to comment, but they didn't. She led Jane towards the stairs.  
Over her shoulder she said, "Cho, make sure Lorelei is safe. There's too many bodies moving around here. Keep her alive."  
"Yes Boss."

..xx..

Without a word she spilled them into the cave upstairs and drew the heavy sliding door shut. She pushed him onto the little bed and sat alongside.  
"Tell me what the hell is going on." She was fuming. Jane kept secrets, this was no surprise, but she would not abide that any longer.  
"No more secrets Jane. I mean it."  
He lay back on the bed, his hands behind his head. Silence passed between them. She waited.  
"Whatever John may have been before he— that night changed him. We are bound together. I am the reason he kills now."  
She shook, her entire frame shuddered. "No. That's insane."  
"It's not the first time I have heard lines from that poem."  
He told her about Todd Johnson and what he'd said in his dying moments; about being strapped to a chair, helpless, as Red John taunted him from behind.  
Teresa found herself lying alongside him. How had that happened? She was on her side, looking down into his face. His eyes never left the ceiling.  
"Jane?" She waved her hand over his face. He blinked and slid his gaze to hers.  
"I'm here."  
"Good. I don't feel like Agent Lisbon right now."  
In reply he reached for her and pulled her against him. Her face ended in his shoulder and she heard him breathing in her hair.  
"You smell better when you're closer." He said.  
"I stink when further?" She chided. He smiled, she could feel it on her head, the way the hair moved.  
They held on for a long while, just breathing and saying nothing. Downstairs a war was starting but it could wait.  
"Patrick?"  
"Yes Teresa?"  
"Is this?"  
"Real?"  
"Yeah."  
"Teresa, you should have no doubt. I can read your thoughts, remember. I have always known you loved me."  
She thumped his chest with her fist.  
"So when you shot me?"  
"I meant it."  
"I like Jane." She said after a while.  
"If that's your name for me then that's the only name I want."

~Fin.


End file.
